Thursday, July 22, 2010

It's Hard Work to Give a Damn

I had a terrible day on Monday. It was supposed to be a good one- and it turned into an epic battle on so many fronts.
I got up at 6 AM (after getting to bed at 2:30), cleaned the house, did the bills, medicated Lilly, got the laundry together to go do at my parents, ran to my parents to get my cash for my podiatrist appointment, got gas, went to the podiatrist. He told me my foot is healing quite nicely- I magically hyper-extended the ligaments, tendons, and muscles in my left foot- re-braced it, and sent me home.
I called my parents to tell them the good news, and after doing so, my father says to me "Why are you calling to tell me this?"
I was a little taken aback, and I said "well, I thought maybe you'd like to hear that I'm getting better, that something good is happening."
"Well, you need to get your ass here. Your mama's decided to take Granny back to north Alabama. She thinks she's dying, and she wants to take her to where doctors that know all about her condition. And you need to drive."
"Wait, if she's dying, shouldn't she be in a damn ambulance or something? What happens if she dies on the goddamn highway? What then?"
"Then you pull over and call 911. I can't afford the three thousand dollars it will take to transport her in an ambulance."
"This makes no goddamn sense."
"Well, it's not your decision. Just get your ass here and drive your mother and your granny."
This was the stupidest goddamn idea I've ever heard. But, instead of fighting, I went along with it. My father was absolutely freaked out. So, I went home, got my toothbrush, called work, called school, etc, and let everyone know I was going to be absent. And I went to my parents' house.
My father was a complete wreck (he doesn't handle any crises of any kind well at all), and my mother's blood pressure was through the roof. My grandmother had her up all night, screaming about how she was falling and "having a party with dead people". So, I did what I had to do- I loaded my grandmother in the back of the Le Sabre, loaded my mother, had my father follow me in my car so that i could drive home when I could, and took off for north Alabama. The trip should've been about 5 and a half hours. I made it to the hospital in four. While fighting traffic in Birmingham at 4 in the afternoon, I was doing my best to keep my grandmother talking (she would routinely stop breathing and get wall-eyed- the only way I assured that she was still alive was by forcing her to talk about all the things she was "seeing") and calm my mother (I believe she was really close to having a stroke). I also fielded all the phone calls from my nephew and my father. I stayed in the hospital room with her, and then- "we can't find anything wrong with her, so we're releasing her. Just make her comfortable." My grandmother hadn't drank or eaten in almost 48 hours, had been hallucinating for at least 24- but there's nothing wrong with her?! Once again, crisis ensued as we scrambled to find a hospital bed to be delivered to my grandmother's house and an ambulance came to get her to transport her. The bitch of a nurse nearly wore my handprint as she "explained" to me how "irresponsible it would be for them to allow her to get in a car". When I told her to hold off on the ambulance phone call for five minutes while I figured out where I was going to get a bed from- she didn't. She went ahead, and maybe one minute after I had secured a bed to be delivered to her house in 15 minutes, that bitch nurse came in, all smiles "well, the other girl had already called- sorry, I guess you'll just have to make do". Then, the EMSes literally dumped her on my brother's bed and walked out- and the rest of the family had just driven up.
Then, to make my crazy-ass father happy, I drove us back home that very night.
Honestly, I can't believe all this shit happened. It sounds like the worst white-trash story ever. It's an epic fail on the medical field's part, it's crazy as hell on my family's part. It's stupid on mine. It's hard work to care, even harder work to deal with the kind of crazy I've dealt with this week. Seriously.
I haven't stuck to my plan at all. I'm going to try to start tomorrow. Who knows- I give up. Every time I try to get ahead, the Universe puts me behind. I may as well accept the tremendous amount of "effing in the A" that is going to happen to me, brace myself, and hope there's some lube in the mix.

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