Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Guilty Pleasures

I'm one of those people who believe all should live without apologies. But, there's always those little things that a person kinda wants to hide away from the rest of the world. Here's a list of all my guilty pleasures that I can remember.
I'm inspired to do this by the realization that an honest person can't be shamed.

1. I LOOOOOVE girlie music- think Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold". I totally rock out to this song every time I hear it. I also dig Jewel, Carly Simon, Alanis Morrissette, Killing Hannah, and Rhianna. Notice, Ido not put Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera in that list because a) I don't like them and b) there are depths to which even I won't stoop. My metal friends' heads would blow up if they knew- and then they'd laugh.
2. I have indeed gotten a shower and sang my ass off to "You're So Vain" followed by "Crossroads" by Bone Thugs n Harmony.
3. I've cried after every major breakup in my life- and during ASPCA commercials.
4. I'm proud that I've been in fights. I don't know why.
5. I secretly love people but find them so disappointing as a species that I think sterilization is the only way to save the world.
6. I used to have a rule that you should only have sex with as many people as you can count on one hand using each finger and your thumb only once. I have, in years past, had to abandon the notion in order to not feel like I'm easy.
7. I've totally done the 'love 'em and leave 'em'.
8. I've been so drunk I don't remember what happened.
9. I stayed drunk for three days in New Orleans- and drove the 6 hours to home drunk as well.
10. I used to get high in my mom's attic- and in the woods behind the house, and at school.....you get the picture.
11. I think I'm smarter than 99% of the people out there- and I look down on the ones that truly are dumber than me. However, to add a little paradox to this, I don't think I know jack shit.
12. I'm terrified of committing to anything. I won't even commit to a lease.
13. I once slipped sleeping pills into a milkshake so my dad would fall asleep and I could invite the opposite sex over because he wouldn't actually allow them. I've never told him, and never, ever will.
14. I get great joy in watching the lives of people I don't like falling apart because I believe it's justice- generally, if I genuinely despise someone, it's because they're a low down piece of shit, though.

I think that pretty much concludes the list of things that are guilty pleasures- I've laughed about all these things, even when I shouldn't have, taken pleasure in doing all the wrong things. And here it is for all the world to see. Judge me, I couldn't care less because there's not a one of us that's lily-white in this world. I've just got the fortitude to own what I've done and the proverbial balls to say that I've enjoyed it.

No comments:

Post a Comment