Sunday, December 20, 2009


Today is supposed to be the day that we do Christmas with my Significant Other's family- which means food and surprises right? Well, ha ha, let me tell you about food and surprises.
I got up at the crack of one today- but to justify, I had to work until 1 AM, then I had to do some last minute shopping, and then I wrapped presents until 6:30 this morning until I fell into bed exhausted. When I got up, my belly was definitely eating itself, I was so hungry, and Significant Other concurred: we should have food. So, I set about making scrambled eggs and Provolone and muffins. As I'm fluffing up the eggs, I notice movement on the backside of my skillet...and it's grey. And furry. And then up pops a field mouse. The cheeky bastard didn't even run...he sauntered away from my stove, behind the microwave, the dishrack, the espresso machine, and finally disappeared into a tiny tiny hole I'd never noticed. And all I could manage to do was turn to Significant Other and say : "Did that really just !@#$ing happen?" To which there was a reply: "Yes. Yes it did."
Now, I'm not dirty- on the contrary, I drive people crazy with my cleanliness. I shampoo carpets at least once a week, I dust all the time, hell, you could eat off my toilet seat. But, I live out in the sticks, surrounded by soybean and cotton fields. And it's gotten, apparently the mice have come. I expected a few, but I expected them nervous and terrified of being seen, especially since my beloved dogs have killed quite a few anyway, indoors and out. You'd think the word would've spread. Apparently not. And so, I have no real choice but to kill these poor creatures before I end up eating with them or sleeping with them. I understand they're just trying to survive, which is why I feel bad about setting traps...but they're trying to survive on my food, in my house, and they don't clean up after themselves. They've got to go. And so, this morning began with food and a surprise, and the setting of mouse guillotines.
So, the final add of creatures that have visited my house:

-a king snake ( an apparently lazy bastard that isn't doing his job. He lives in my attic)
-an armadillo (he likes the porch for some reason)
-a coyote (who still comes around and watches my dogs)
-brown recluses (coming out from under my bed)
-field mice
-ferral cats (who was so nice as to use the crawl space as a nursery for her kittens)
-common tree frogs (16 of them to be exact, made their way through my window and into my peace lillies)
-a barking tree frog (who lived with us for a month or so)
-red fox
- a pack of American bulldogs

NONE, NONE of these things bother me the way the mice do. I've been invaded.

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