Thursday, June 24, 2010

The 24th Hour

..has come and gone. It's been almost 36 hours since my last cigarette. Here's what I've noticed:

It makes my body kinda angry
Anything can be irritating
I can smell better
I'm not sure that I want to smell better
I have an almost uncontrollable desire to brush my teeth all the time
I want to do situps (not sure why, the notion just keeps hitting)
One of the worst things for me to do right now is nothing at all
My skin looks better
My breathing has improved slightly

It's worth it- I don't want to be that person that has a million health complications due to smoking. One of my biggest motivators: they put flame retardants in cigarettes. I don't want to smoke flame retardants (not that I particularly wanted to smoke arsenic and urea either, but ,as f*&ked up as it sounds, they were preferable to flame retardants). Another big motivator besides my health is my dogs' health: I've noticed since there's been no smoking in my house, none of my dogs have coughed, sneezed, or acted like they couldn't breathe. An added bonus to quitting: extra money. If I put away all the money that I'd spend on cigarettes...I could take a vacation of epic proportions.

The only real problem with quitting smoking is that- for now- I can't hang out with anyone that does smoke (which is most everyone I know), or I'll tempt a relapse. It's an addiction, to be sure, and one that I want to be rid of. If I get rid of cigarettes, the only addiction I'll have left is chocolate- and I'm working on that one too. I just don't want to have anymore of these so-called crutches that really do nothing for me but make shit better for about fifteen minutes but much, much worse in the long run.

I don't constantly want a cigarette- it's just an ocassional, monumental urge. And I have to find something to DO- I can't sit and read or anything like that. Last night, I built boxes to curb my desire to smoke. I'm as addicted to the action as I am the cigarettes. It'll be okay, though. I'm quitting. I'm on day two of the rest of my life. I'll do it.

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