Saturday, June 26, 2010

Day Four

Today is starting out much, much easier than the previous days. Noticeable positive physical changes: my skin is looking even better, my foot is better, my breathing is better, my eyes are very bright and shiny, and- added bonus!- I haven't woken up with a stuffed up nose. I also woke up better than I usually do, meaning that I wasn't irritable. It's really nice that I don't have to make up time or resources for old habits anymore.
Since I started quitting, I've been doing yogic breath exercises. I do them all the time- when I wake up in the morning, when I crave a cigarette, when I get restless, and before I go to bed. I think they're actually helping clean my lungs out quicker. It also helps me deal with cravings, as I have to completely focus on the inhale and exhale of my breath and counting (and added bonus is that I get to "compete" with myself to see how much air I can take in and how slowly I can release it, which helps with tension, too). I really want to see if my lungs will clear out faster than 10 years. I'd really like for that to happen- so, it's a new goal.
Even though I've smoked for 10 years, I grew up in a house with people smoking prolifically all around me. My mother smoked (very very lightly and with a water filter on her ultra light cigarettes) while she was pregnant with me too. I wonder, much damage had already been done before I even started smoking myself? I remember when I was a kid, I always had breathing problems, but I thought that was just because my allergies were so bad and we lived in such shitty places for people with allergies.
Oh well, no matter. What's done is done. Now is a time to move forward and clean up. I've made it this far and I'm refusing to go back.

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