Monday, June 14, 2010

Everytime Someone Tells Me They're Getting Married...

I have the distinct feeling that I want to throw up.
I also get terribly sad about it, but fake my way through it so that I look like a supportive friend. I know that when my friends tell me they're getting married, I'm losing my friends. Slowly, one by one (or, more correctly, two by two), they're going away. I understand that they don't do it intentionally, but a marriage is a lot of work. And between working a real job and working a marriage, most people have very little time left over. Then, they have children, and they really don't have time anymore.
The single friends are lucky to receive a phone call once a month.
This is the price of "growing up", I guess. I hate this part. Actually, I pretty much hate adulthood.
I will be the last girl standing. That doesn't really make me sad. I've got better and more meaningful relationships with my dogs than most people can ever have with other people. My dogs and I are honest, at least.
But, going back to other people getting married, I am happy that they've found someone they love so much that they believe they can stay with them forever. It's a good thing for them. It's selfish that I don't want them to get married, kinda, but I also know that the majority of them will barely make it out the gate before it's over and they're in divorce court. I hate holding my friends' hands as they go through a divorce worse than I hate holding their hands when they're going to get married. At least when they're getting married, they're happy. Divorce doesn't really make anyone happy...well, except me. I was ecstatic to get divorced (yes, I was married once...for a very short period of time). I got my freedom back.
My love of freedom, I guess, is why I don't really understand why people get married- I tried to be married and still retain some of my freedom....that didn't work AT ALL. I don't get how someone can sacrifice complete personal freedom. It's just not in my nature.

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